Masks

It is time for me to talk about masks. (written at the height of the pandemic). There are all kinds of masks now-a-days.. every thing imaginable. In my side gig, I see a lot of people in a public place where mask-wearing was a requirement for entry. I have seen it all I think. Glittery masks, with crystals or sequins, and masks that look like animal faces. Masks from old t-shirts and masks made from left-over quilting fabric. Tartan, tie-dye, and tic-tac-toe!. Denim masks, and velvet masks. Masks that support hockey teams and football teams, and masks highlighting First Nations art. Patriotic masks with Canada flags and legion poppies. Masks with advertising. Military and reservist folks with camouflage masks to match their fatigues. Recently I saw a very fancy lit up mask that changed colours, and I saw a mask made out of an old Crown Royal whisky bag - not just for marbles anymore. I saw a gorgeous woman in a lovely coat, wearing a mask that looked like a very nasty growling dog face. Now, why would such a well-turned out lady wear such an ugly thing? To scare away suitors, perhaps? There are some crazy ones, like weird faces from “Nightmare before Halloween’ or Jokeresque smiles. And in true Canadian North style, I saw one with a snowman face, complete with black coal mouth and carrot nose.

Now you see disposable masks every where, on the ground and in parking lots and I worry about all the tonnes of disposable masks that will go into landfills. I understand some scientists are hard at work on that problem, so that’s a relief.

There are some upsides to wearing a mask, you don’t have to clean your teeth or worry if you have broccoli stuck in them, and you don’t have to pluck your chin hairs or care if you didn’t shave evenly, or at all. You can yawn without covering your mouth, or stick your tongue out at someone you don’t like. You can wear that ridiculous green lipstick that you have been wanting to try, at work, without reprimand. Masks I don’t like include white cotton ones that look like unmentionables, and grim or scary faces. Two masks I would expect to see but have not yet seen : High Vis, now so popular on vests and overalls, and marital status or dating availability, and Three masks I expect not to see: paper maché, mink (cuz, you know, minks carried co-vid), or a Lady Gaga-style meat mask, which could double as lunch or to tame a junkyard dog. Remember when you couldn’t enter a bank with a hat, sunglasses or a mask on? Now you can’t get in without a mask - how times change. We all complained when we had to don masks in public, but we will surely miss the amazing variety now that they are slowly disappearing, and will miss gazing into each other’s eyes,… and now that masks are becoming a thing of the past, we might find ourselves saying, “Oh it’s you.. didn’t recognize you without your mask”. :>)

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